Medically-Correct Nursery Rhymes: Jack and Jill

cranquis:

Jack and Jill went up the hill,

to fetch a pail of water.

Jack fell down, due to dizziness from an inner-ear infection, and suffered a depressed skull fracture with intracranial bleed;

so Jill drank all the water herself, but it turned out to be contaminated with Giardia, resulting in a severe bout of diarrhea.

(These are the kinds of things I think about as I’m singing/patting/whispering Baby Cranquis to sleep.)

(via amumblingidiot)